-LRB- CNN -RRB- -- We learned a few things on Monday night , those of us watching Anderson Cooper on `` AC360 , '' about Alex Teves , one of the people who died in the gunfire at theater 9 in the Century 16 multiplex in Aurora , Colorado . We learned that in high school , `` for no reason whatever , '' as his father put it , Alex always wore white T-shirts and blue jeans , and that one day some 400 to 500 kids from the school wore the same outfit , declaring an unofficial `` Alex Teves Day . ''

We got to meet Alex 's best friend , Ryan Cooper , who spoke about how people were `` drawn to him . '' And his girlfriend , Amanda Lindgren , who told us , among other things , about the last act of Alex 's life , which in some ways is all you need to know : He dove across her body to protect her from the bullets .

Opinion : Three Aurora heroes gave their lives

Perhaps most painfully , we met Tom Teves , the father of Alex , a likeable , visibly hurt man . He said , when Cooper asked how he was holding up : `` It 's the worst day of my life every day . Alex was my firstborn son . I love him with all my heart . ''

Teves had something to say to the news media , too , something impossible to ignore : `` And if we do n't stop talking about the gunman -- so somebody took a gun and went in and shot a 6-year-old girl ? Why are we talking about that person ? ''

He went on : `` I would like to see CNN come out with a policy that said , ` Moving forward , we 're not going to talk about the gunman . What we 're going to say is : A coward walked into a movie theater and started shooting people . He 's apprehended . The coward 's in jail . He will never see the light of day again . Let 's move on ' ... CNN , Fox News , the major networks . Why do n't you guys all come out with a policy that says , we 're not going to show this -LSB- killer -RSB- again ? That would be my -- that would be my challenge to you and to every network . ''

As compelling and tempting as his plea is , I would argue that Teves is only half right .

The mass killings certainly dominated the news , quickly becoming one of the biggest stories of 2012 .

Nearly three quarters of the nation has been following it `` very '' or `` fairly '' closely , according to Pew Research Center . Still , if mass shootings were n't big news , you would worry . James Holmes ' face , meanwhile , made it to a number of front pages in the wake of the massacre , as shown in Newseum 's Today 's Front Page feature , but not as often or as large as you might think . And you did want to know what he looked like , did n't you ? Even Tom Teves went to court to see his face .

Looking into the minds of killers

Like Teves , many people suspect that some sort of media glory is part of the payoff for these mass killers . And that seems plausible . But the truth of the matter is we do n't have a clue . Nor do we have an idea if some sort of media blackout about them would have any effect in preventing this type of incident from occurring again .

Court appearance fuels theories about Colorado shooting suspect

As an analogy , one he freely admitted is on a wholly different level , Teves used the example of people running on fields during professional ball games .

The media stopped showing such incidents , he pointed out , and now that the TV cameras no longer show these runners , he asked , `` When was the last time you saw somebody jump on the field ? ''

The problem , unfortunately , is that people still jump on ball fields . I just search for `` people running on baseball fields '' on Google and up popped recent incidents in 10 cities , all recorded on cell phones , as well as two websites that collects such videos .

Stories of survival amidst the shooting

What really causes mass murderers to commit their crimes ? Mental illness ? Environmental factors ? Something worse ?

News media speculation about the motive is n't helpful to anyone . Yet people around the country are concerned ; some are even traumatized by this event . It is natural to wonder why and how the horrific shooting happened . And to the extent that it can address such big questions , news organizations should make the necessary inquiries -- dig into the suspect 's past , find indicators of questionable behavior , look for signs of terrifying intent . This is the media 's responsibility .

Warning signs of violence : What to do

News outlets should never glorify killers in any way . In the chance that being on television and across the front pages could be a draw to killers , the news media must err on the side of caution in its coverage . The prime focus should be properly on the victims . And , I would add , on the victims ' friends and families , who tell us so movingly that they will remember . As Teves said , `` You know , Alex would have expected us to live . We 're going to live . '' To report that kind of love and guts is essential .

Still , when something like this happens , we are , as a society , like a tribe discussing the events around the campfire . Reporters are something like the tribal scouts . There are wolves , and we have questions : How many wolves ? How do they act ? Which way should we go ?

How to help the victims

Here , too , we have questions : Who is this killer ? What concrete facts give clues to how he got that way ? Is there any law or cultural change that might deter the next one ? Were signals missed ? All of this matters . Tell us about the wolves .

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Mike Hoyt .

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On Anderson Cooper 's show , a father of a victim of the Aurora shooting asks about media 's role

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Mike Hoyt : Is Tom Teves right to say news organizations should ignore the mass killers

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He says it 's natural to ask why the horrific incident happened and what motivated the gunman

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Hoyt : Media should make the necessary inquiries but never glorify the killer